Blog The Desire Map

Clarifying Core Desired Feelings

24 July, 2013

After the warm-up exercises of writing in stream of consciousness and about gratitude and challenges, I was ready for the Core Desired Feelings to flow out of me, but Danielle and The Desire Map* challenged me to dig deeper, to find out what I really want.

Before diving in to what my deepest desires are, I was asked to recall times when I did not feel the way I wanted to. What feelings did I not want to feel? I came up with: embarrassed, sad, empty, anxious, panicky, and disappointed.

Putting those feelings aside, it was easy to come up with times I felt the way I was hoping to feel: proud, excited, curious, creative, inspired, loved, adventurous, courageous, confident, radiant, inspiring, loving, relieved, comforted, comfortable, joyous, in awe, and at one with nature.

But before I could pull my deepest, most desired feelings from a list, I followed the instructions for the next section… and this is hard to put into word. The next section first asked me to come up with desired feelings for each of the five areas of my life (Livelihood & Lifestyle, Creativity & Learning, Body & Wellness, Relationships & Society, and Essence & Spirituality). Once I came up with each of these lists, I was then inspired to “get inside the words”, look up the definitions of the words I wrote down, to dig deeper, to feel the nuances of each word. When I completed these lists, I was then asked to reflect on the words, to choose the ones I felt most drawn to. Circle the ones (I used stars instead… it just felt more ME) which make you feel inspired, grounded, peaceful, energized, supported, I was told. Take time and care selecting the strongest, most specific, and most positive words.

Here’s where the depth and the levity of the words come into play. Honing in on the best words is as easy and as tough as saying “I want to feel _____.” Danielle asks how each word feels. For example, “loved” versus “loving” versus “love”. Which of those three feels right to you? They are all so closely related, yet it’s clear to me which one I want to feel.

“Remember (a gentle reminder): You know the answer.”

Write down your Core Desired Feelings. I had a hard time narrowing down and at first, I chose a list of 14: confident, adventurous, nourished, energized, clear, inspired, whole, lionhearted, creative, radiant, sense of flow, love, romantic, enchantment. I noted that these did not necessarily align with the feelings I listed at the beginning of this exercise. I further narrowed the list to adventurous, nourished, energized, clear, inspired, whole, lionhearted, creative, radiant, sense of flow, love, romantic, and enchantment before starring some more.

Now it is time to choose my core desired feelings. I am excited and, at the same time, calm. It feels right. I choose:

adventure, clear, whole, lionheart, radiance, sense of flow, love, enchantment

Danielle advises: let it stew, be open to change, try them on for size.

This is what I plan to do. Let them float around my heart for a while. Choose which feel best. I have more than the suggested 3-5, but I am content with the ones I have chosen. They are different and the same as the ones I originally thought I might choose before I started this program. My initial guess at these Core Desired Feelings were: adventurous, grateful, creative, love, radiance. My 8 above are slightly different, yet more poignant. These are what I desire deep down. These are the feelings I hope will flow through me, radiate from me, surround me.

Now, it is time to rest.


*While this is an affiliate link, I truly do believe in this program and what it will do for my life. I am already appreciative of the workbook and how it makes me more aware of what it is I truly want and how I can achieve my true core desired feelings. I hope sincerely that you will join me, not because I will make money from your purchase, but because I would love to have allies, friends, and co-conspirators along this journey. Please do leave a comment and let me know if you decide to do this program so we can work through it together.

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