A home I’ve known too long. A time to move. Energy shifting. It all feels new again, not stale. Gut-wrenching goodbyes; excitement in exiting. Magic in the art of moving, weighted with the work of packing a life into boxes and bags. Drawn out over time like letters scrawled on notebooks. A sabbatical awaits. Return to who I am now, and again. Stardust swirling becomes my future. Neon lights in all directions. Forging forth with only desire.
In a week, I will be making big shift in my life, packing up and moving from Northern Virginia and the Washington, DC area, where I’ve been living for the past 10 years, to Florida. I am grateful for all the new opportunities this will bring, but I am also leaving behind a whole lot of history and a lot of my present self. It took me a long time to build the kind of life I wanted here and it will be incredibly hard to leave behind a place that so intimately shaped my life for so long.
In some ways, I’m glad to be leaving it behind and moving forward with my life, finding a new place for myself and brushing off the dust of past experiences: ex-boyfriends and former jobs, the mistakes I’ve made and the lessons that were hard to learn, reminders of a time when I did not love and respect myself nearly as much as I do now. Leaving behind all the baggage and moving forward with only the things I want in my life is a choice I make every day. I am fortunate to have a chance to start over again.
And in some ways, I’m already missing everything about my life here: the good and the bad, every instance that shaped me, every tear and every smile. Leaving behind all the friends and moving forward is not an easy decision, but I am fortunate to be able to form each day in the shape I want it to be. I will not lose myself, but will become ever closer to the self that I aspire to be.
In moving away from everything I know to a completely new and foreign land is nothing new to me. I’ve done it several times and each time I’ve discovered new and amazing parts of myself. In order to deal with a different place and a different culture, new and exciting parts of my own personality come out. Whenever I challenge myself, I find that I grow and change in unexpected ways. I am looking forward to the adventure of the next shift.